HOUSTON,WE HAVE A PROBLEM...

ROCK & ROLL HEAVEN...
MIKE-WOW THIS IS BETTER THAN NEVERLAND.
MARVIN GAYE-WHAT'S GOING ON?
MIKE- I DON'T KNOW THE LAST THING I
REMEMBER WAS MY DOCTOR INJECTING
ME WITH SOMETHING.

MARVIN- YEA THE LAST THING I REMEMEBER
WAS MY DADDY AIMING A GUN AT ME. I LOOKED
AT MOM SHE LOOKED AT ME WITH THAT LOOK
IN HER EYES,LIKE YOU DONE F##KED UP NOW!

ELVIS-THE LAST THING I REMEMBER, I WAS
SITTING ON THE TOILET EATING A BANANA
BACON SANDWICH. LISA MARIE WANTED SOME SO
I HID IN THE BATHROOM,I WASN'T ABOUT
TO SHARE IT.

OTIS REDDING -LAST THING I REMEMBER WAS
SITTING ON THE DOCK OF THE BAY.

MAMA CASS- I WAS SITTING IN BED EATING A
HAM SANDWICH,WHEN I CHOKED ON A PICKLE.
GOT DAMNIT! I SHOULD HAVE ORDERED TUNA.

SAM COOKE- I WENT TO MEET THIS HOTTIE AT THIS
HOTEL NEAR DOWNTOWN L.A. I GOT SHOT TO DEATH,
AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE BIG BOOBS! IF I COULD
TURN BACK THE HANDS OF TIME.

KIRK COBAIN- I MARRIED COURTNEY LOVE...NUFF SAID!

GOOGLE SUCKS!

FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT CAN'T SEE
MY GOOGLE GAGETS AT THE END OF
THE PAGE, REFRESH THE PAGE.

GOOGLE APPARENTLY BROKE SOMETHING
WHEN THEY WERE TRYING TO DO SOMETHING
NEW. CAN'T YOU LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE,
DAMN SERGIO! HAVEN'T YOU HEARD IF IT
AIN'T BROKE DON'T FIX IT, AND YOU CALL
YOURSELF A GENUIS?

THE DOCTORS:

THERE'S THIS NEW SHOW CALLED
THE DOCTORS ON TELEVISION.
I WANT TO ASK THE DOCTORS
SOME QUESTIONS BUT I'M SKEERED
OF THEIR ANSWERS.
1. WHY WHEN YOU PEE,EMPTY YOUR BLADDER
YOU SIT THERE LISTENING TO A JAM ON THE
RADIO AND A MINUTE GOES BY AND YOU'RE
PISSING AGAIN? MAYBE IT'S JUST ME.

2.WHY IS IT I STAY HOT ALL THE TIME?
THAT'S WHAT I GET FOR BRAGGING HOW
HOT I AM...NOW IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENED.;(

3.WHY WHEN YOU STOP SMOKING, SOMETHING
HAPPENS, TO MAKE YOU START BACK?
YOU KNOW, LIKE ALMOST RUNNING OVER A PUPPY.

4.WHY AM I SCARED OF FUNERALS?
I KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT, WHEN I
WAS A KID MY SISTER INTRODUCED ME TO
THE CONCEPT OF DEATH. HER BEST FRIEND
SHIRLEY DIED AND SHE MADE ME GO TO
THE FUNERAL HOME WITH HER TO VIEW THE BODY.
THERE WAS SHIRLEY IN HER MOO MOO DEAD, SHE
WAS A GOOD LOOKING WOMAN.
I DON'T CARE IF NO ONE SHOWS UP AT MY FUNERAL
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO,RISE UP AND SAY WHERE
IN THE HELL IS EVERYBODY AT?I'M NOT GOING TO
MY OWN FUNERAL AND NO ONE CAN MAKE ME..NANANANANA!

5.WHY DO I WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
WITH DRY MOUTH?
WHAT,HAVE I REACHED THE AGE THAT I HAVE
TO BE CONSTANTLY LUBRICATED?