BYE MIKE...

I GREW UP WITH YOU,I WANT YOU BACK,
ABC,THE LOVE YOU SAVE,I'LL BE THERE,
BEN ONLY YOU COULD SING A LOVE SONG
ABOUT A RAT. MY FAVORITE SONG WAS
WHO'S LOVING YOU.I MET ONE JACKSON
IN MY LIFE AND THAT WAS TITO IN
DOWNTOWN L.A. WITH HIS WIFE.IN HIGH
SCHOOL I USE TO LIE AND SAY THEY WERE
MY COUSINS AND SMOKEY ROBINSON WAS
MY UNCLE.HEY! I WAS SKINNY AND HAD
ACNE, I NEEDED AN EDGE TO GET SOME.;)

SAM COOKE,JACKIE WILSON, MARVIN GAYE,
BARRY WHITE, TUPAC, LUTHER, AALIYAH
RAY CHARLES SO MANY.REST IN PEACE MIKE YOU WERE
LOVED.THERE IS A ROCK N' ROLL HEAVEN THE RIGHTEOUS
BROTHERS SUNG ABOUT IT.:)

DEVIL OR ANGEL?

LAST WEEK I FOUND A WALLET FULL
OF CASH,CREDIT CARDS,ID'S ETC, IN
MY BANKS PARKING LOT.
I WAS ON MY WAY TO THE SUPERMARKET,
AND I WAS THINKING,I'M GOING TO GET
ME SOME OF THOSE $14.00 CRAB LEGS.
MY VERY OWN STIMULUS PACKAGE,
LUCKEY ME!:)

WHENEVER I HEAR ON THE NEWS OF PEOPLE
FINDING MONEY AND TURNING IT IN, I WOULD
SAY "THEY'RE STUPID".
I GREW UP AS A KID WITH THE FINDERS KEEPERS
LOUSER WEEPERS MENTALITY.
IF YOU FOUND MONEY IT'S YOURS,IT WAS MEANT
TO BE.

I WAS GOING TO KEEP THE MONEY AND PUT THE
WALLET AND IT'S CONTENTS IN A MAIL BOX.
A DEVIL WAS ON ONE SHOULDER THE ANGEL
WAS ON THE OTHER.
THE DEVIL WAS TELLING ME, KEEP IT.
THE ANGEL WAS TELLING ME,THAT IT WOULD BE WRONG.
I STARTED TO LOOK THROUGH THE WALLET AND
CAME UPON THEIR DRIVERS LICENSE,AND SAW THEIR
FACE. SHE WAS A SENIOR,WHITE, AND DISABLED.

GUESS WHAT I DID? WHERE SHE LIVED WASN'T
FAR AWAY SO I DECIDED TO,DRUMROLL... TAKE
IT TO HER MYSELF.
WHEN I ARRIVED AT HER HOUSE,SHE TOOK FOREVER
TO ANSWER THE DOOR.
SHE SAID MAY I HELP YOU, I SAID NO BUT I CAN HELP
YOU AND PULLED OUT HER WALLET.

SHE TOOK THE WALLET AND LOOKED THROUGH IT
AND STARTED TO CRY, I GUESS IT WAS TEARS OF JOY.
SHE INVITED ME IN AND ASKED ME IF I WANTED SOME
TEA. I TOLD HER NO,MAYBE SOME WINE,BEER, OR
MOONSHINE BUT THAT TEA STUFF WILL KILL YOU.
SHE STARTED CRACKING UP,I WAS NOT ONLY A HERO,
I MADE HER LAUGH.
I TOLD HER I HAD TO BE GOING, SHE SAID LET
ME GIVE YOU SOMETHING AND TOOK $20.00 OUT
OF THE WALLET. I TOLD HER NO SHE DIDN'T
NEED TO GIVE ME ANYTHING,SHE SAID HOW
LUCKEY SHE WAS FOR A PERSON LIKE ME TO
HAVE FOUND HER WALLET.

I FELT SPECIAL INSIDE, THE REST OF THE DAY,
WELL I FEEL SPECIAL EVERYDAY,BUT REALLY
THAT DAY.
SO WHAT'S THE SCORE?
DEVIL O ANGEL 1
I LOVE MYSELF SO MUCH!:)

I'VE BEEN SCREWED...AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY.

JUST THE OTHER DAY I WAS GOOGLING MYSELF
AND WAS DAZED AND CONFUSED.
I WROTE A B SIDE RECORD BACK IN THE DAY,
IT CHARTED ON BILLBOARD.
THE A SIDE WAS SUPPOSE TO BE THE HIT SIDE
TO CARRY IT UP THE CHARTS. I THINK IT WAS
ON THE R&B CHARTS FOR 3 WEEKS.

I WAS EXCITED WHEN OUR PRODUCER SAID
IT WAS DOING WELL IN TEXAS. I WAS SIGNED
TO BE A LYRICIST,AT A RELATIVELY YOUNG AGE,
AND WAS A MEMBER OF ASCAP.
I DIDN'T MAKE ANY BIG MONEY FROM THAT
ENDEAVOR,I DID HAVE A BIG EGO FOR A MINUTE THOUGH.
UNTIL WRITERS BLOCK CAME FOR A VISIT AND NEVER LEFT.:(

ANYWAY ,I GOOGLED MYSELF AND A WEBSITE
LISTED MY NAME AND MY CO-WRITER.
IN THE CATAGORIES MY SONG WAS LISTED
AS BEING IN A MOTION PICTURE...WTF?
I'VE TRYING TO FIND THE MOVIE, ALL I KNOW
IS, I DIDN'T GET PAID.I WAS RIPPED OFF BY
THE MAN! OH WELL,I HOPE IT'S IN A GREAT
MOVIE AND NOT A SUCK HOLE B-MOVIE. I WILL
NOT REST UNTIL I FIND THE MOVIE,I NEED TO
FIND SOMEBODY TO SUE THE S##t OUT OF.
BABYGIRL NEEDS NEW SHOES!:)

MY FUNNY BROWNIES...

I MADE SOME ENHANCED BROWNIES
THE OTHER DAY. I USUALLY LEAVE
MUFFINS ON THE TABLE FOR MY MOM,THAT
SHE EATS WITH HER COFFEE IN THE MORNING.

I ACCIDENTALLY LEFT MY BROWNIES NEXT TO
HER MUFFINS, NEXT DAY IT WAS OBVIOUS
SHE ATE A BROWNIE.

WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO?
ALL KIND OF THOUGHTS RAN THROUGH MY
HEAD. WILL SHE FLIP OUT? WILL SHE CALL
THE POLICE ON ME? WILL SHE EAT UP ALL
MY SNACKS? PLUS SHE WAS ACTING COOL
AND WANTED TO TRY ON MY SUNGLASSES.
WHAT KIND OF MONSTER DID I CREATE?

I MONITORED HER BEHAVIOR,
1. SHE HAD THE MUNCHIES BIG TIME, IT SEEMS
SHE WAS EATING EVERY 10 MINUTES.

2.SHE WAS NICE TO ME,AND THAT'S RARE.
I'M USUALLY THE RED HEADED DEVIL
STEP CHILD.:(

3.SHE STAYED IN THE BATHROOM LONGER
THAN USUAL,I HAVE THE RADIO ON IN THERE
I THINK SHE WASN'T GOING TO LEAVE UNTIL
LET'S GET IT ON WAS THROUGH.THEN SHE CAME
SWAGGING OUT...WHAT?

GAWD I HOPE SHE DOESN'T BECOME A JUNKIE
I AM NOT ABOUT TO SHARE MY SNACKS! TOUCH
MY RED VELVET CUPCAKES WITH CREAM CHEESE
ICING AND YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE OLD WOMAN!;)

A PLEA TO PRESIDENT OBAMA...
I KNOW YOU HAVE A LOT ON YOUR PLATE
WARS,THE ECONOMY, HOW TO HOUSE TRAIN
BO, BUT THIS ISSUE NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED.

I'VE POSTED ABOUT THIS BEFORE, YET IT'S
STILL A PROBLEM IN MY COMMUNITY.

I WAS RELAXING ON MY BALCONY ENJOYING
MY GARDEN,MOUNTAINS,THE TRAINS PASSING
BY, I'M TALKING PICTURE POSTCARD BEAUTY.

WHEN A CAR PULLS UP,AND THIS DUDE
GETS OUT BENDS OVER AND ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE'S
A WHITE ASS CRACK IN MY GARDEN OF EDEN.
JUST TOTALLY RUINED THE ATMOSPHERE.
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO DELUSIONAL TO THINK
THAT SOMEONE WANTS TO SEE THEIR ASS CRACK?
PULL UP YOUR F##KING PANTS...DICK HEAD!
OR IS IT GUYS WITH SMALL DICKS SHOWING
OFF THEIR ASS,FIGURING HEY I MAY HAVE A
SMALL PENIS BUT I GOT A GREAT ASS.

OBAMA I BEG OF YOU, MAKE IT A LAW THAT IF
SOMEONE SEE'S YOUR ASS CRACK IN PUBLIC
YOU HAVE TO PAY A FINE. MAYBE 500 DOLLARS,
FOR THE FIRST OFFENSE, 3 STRIKES YOU'RE OFF TO PRISON.
WHERE BIG BUBBA WILL LOVE YOUR EXPOSE BUTT CRACK,
OH BOY, HOW HE WILL LOVE IT!