JAZZ COFFEE

JAZZ COFFEE CLASSIC VINYL RECORDS FOR SALE.COFFEE RECIPES, CONTEST,A BIT OF HUMOUR ONCE IN AWHILE A SPONTANEOUS POLITICAL COMMENTARY THROUGH THE EYES OF THE COOL... JAZZ COFFEE HAVE A CUP!

20060820

MALE AND FEMALE STATUES

Two nude statues (one male & one female)
had been standing in the middle of a beautiful
park for 99 years.

On their 100th anniversary in the park an angel
came down from heaven to talk to the statues.
He said to them "God has been watching you
for the past 100 years and has been very
pleased with the two of you.

So pleased in fact that he has decided to grant you a wish
of being humans for a short time. The angel then went
on to say they would be human for 15 minutes and will
finally be able to pleasure themselves in a manner in
which they have only fantasized about for the last 100 years.

The statues were so excited they could hardly believe it.
The second they became human they ran off together
behind the bushes. The angel heard the rustling of the
bushes and shouts of joy and laughter. After 10 minutes
the statues returned from behind the bushes sweating
and laughing. The angel told the statues that they still
had 5 more minutes.

The male statue quickly turned to the female statue and said
cool,this time you hold down the pigeon and i'll shit on his head.

65 Comments:

Blogger Chelle said...

I'll never look at statues the same again... ::sigh:: LOL

6:10 PM  
Blogger Charles said...

Uncontrollable Laughter.

How do you come up with these jokes.

This one is just too funny! I suppose if I was a statue, and I had fifteen minutes, I'd get revenge too.

6:49 PM  
Blogger Omni said...

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6:49 PM  
Blogger shirley said...

Cuuute! Good for those statues. :)

7:13 PM  
Blogger Pixie said...

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

7:23 PM  
Blogger Vest said...

IMHO-GMTA-stoned-99years-2O4L-Male statue keeps his in hand, say's not like bird in bush-e2eg
BTW S I G C.
BTW Agin aint dis gooder den plane ing glish

9:11 PM  
Blogger angel, jr. said...

Nice!!

10:50 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Does God spend a lot of time watching statues? That seems to be something he could delegate...

2:59 AM  
Blogger LadyBugCrossing said...

LOL!!! That's a good one!
LBC

5:28 AM  
Blogger saby said...

wat Vest say ?

6:11 AM  
Blogger saby said...

Bon jour ma michele

que est ce qua?
kem che?

deo bore distis
Jay Ramji ki

7:49 AM  
Blogger Katy said...

OMG how funny. I wont be able to look at another statue with out laughing and imagin them doing this.

8:46 AM  
Blogger michele said...

Chelle-Me neither.lol

Charles-revenge is sweet

Omni-thanks for the visit,see
you in the sb.

Shirley-yea good for them
now if cars can get their
revenge,especially mine.

Pixie-glad you enjoyed it.

Vest-is that some kind of code?

Angel jr. thank you very much.

Mr.Fab-he gets tired of dealing
with humans sometimes,i know i do.

Ladybug-thanks for the visit
glad you enjoyed it.

Saby-i don't know

Katy -it does make you wonder.lol

9:07 AM  
Blogger Jackie said...

LOL, brilliant !!

9:09 AM  
Blogger saby said...

Vest is playing safe

if we dont no wat he is saying
we cant hurt him

9:12 AM  
Blogger saby said...

Vest sent me a mail
i am scared to open it

it may contain a can of worms and other viruses

lately some guys are trying to hack me

9:14 AM  
Blogger Pugs said...

Ha!Ha!Ha! Nice One michele!
That wine you drink must be magical...
I think I need a drop of that! LOL

9:16 AM  
Blogger michele said...

Jackie-i do my best,i'm a closet
comedian.

Saby-open it please !
you have nothing to fear but
fear itself.

Pugs-yea it's magic allright,
i think i'll try to cut down.
I'm blowing my own mind.

9:27 AM  
Blogger saby said...

i fear Vest
i will open it from a cyber cafe
i dont want my PC infected

9:32 AM  
Blogger saby said...

Pugs seems such a nice sweet fella on sweet micheles blog.....

u will see his dark side on his blog

9:36 AM  
Blogger Trader Taocode said...

Thanks for visiting my blog, and leaving a comment. It looks like you have quite a following here on blogger :).

1:25 PM  
Blogger Wally Banners said...

Michele its 103 here in valley bleh!
Michele ill miss you more than you can imgaine.

3:10 PM  
Blogger michele said...

Trader- it's not a following
it's my friends and we comment
on each others blogs.

Wally-you're back!It's hotter
than a sluts behind out here.
I haven't turned on the a/c
yet, i'm cheap but if this keeps
up i'm going to as God as my
witness

3:24 PM  
Blogger RevJim said...

Very Funny. Thanks for checking out my NASCAR blog, as well as the Libertarian one. I hope you enjoy watching NASCAR. It isn't for everyone, but some come along and suddenly get it. Take care and have fun.

3:29 PM  
Blogger Pugs said...

michele my friend, no post till monday sounds good to me, it's about time you had a short vacation from it all.
Time to relax a bit!
Have a great weekend also!
Catch ya later.

4:03 PM  
Blogger saby said...

dont be a kill joy PUGS

4:10 PM  
Blogger Vest said...

Saby; The last thing on my mind would be the need to hack into your little box of tricks, there is enough infection leaching from it right now. In fact as I consider without reservation that you saby are the biggest prick in blogland, the song and dance E mail that I sent you would be right up your ally.

4:37 PM  
Blogger saby said...

the biggest prick in blogland??
u really think so Vest ?

i had feelings of inadequacy
i tot i was small
did it hurt?

5:28 PM  
Blogger saby said...

hehehe

5:45 PM  
Blogger Mimi said...

I really love this one! It is original!

5:54 PM  
Blogger saby said...

its morning now and God is awake
i must say my morning prayers

Dear God

i tank u for JAZZ COFFEE
i tank u for Karen
i tank u for Pugs

i tank u for Vest
next to him, i look like a teenager


hehehehe

5:59 PM  
Blogger michele said...

Mimi -glad you enjoyed,
have a great weekend.

6:11 PM  
Blogger cube said...

This one made me smile. Thanks.

6:14 PM  
Blogger Phats said...

haha funny!! good laugh thanks michele!

You ever seen those people that portray statues? SCARY!

6:56 PM  
Blogger michele said...

Cube-thanks for stopping by,glad i made you smile.

Phats-i think they make them look
weird on purpose.

Both of you have a great weekend.

7:12 PM  
Blogger saby said...

i am really really sick of being me
i need a new ID

7:25 PM  
Blogger michele said...

Saby- i'm sick of you being you too.

7:50 PM  
Blogger Johnny B. Good said...

easy Michele

i gott saby all tied up
he wont be bothering u no more in the night

sleep well
u can let go of the delete button now

11:01 PM  
Blogger Jennas Blog said...

Thanks for the laugh Michelle, and the visit to my blog.

7:53 AM  
Blogger saby said...

Morning Michele
sorry i cudnt post last night
i was tied up

9:08 AM  
Blogger Jim said...

Heyyy Michele
u take the weekend off
i will do the next couple of postings for u


here goes No.1

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron.

"He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.

While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" "Now what?" asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"

9:29 AM  
Blogger HanktheDog said...

Thanks for the well wishes on my Pit Bull story.
HanktheDog

10:31 AM  
Blogger michele said...

Jenna-thanks

Hank the dog-glad you're doing
better.Pit bulls should be
outlawed,they're the terrorist
in the dog world.

Jim aka saby-don't quit your
day job to be a comedian,that
wasn't funny.Americans sense
of humour is witty and
sophisticated unlike yours
which is primative and doesn't
make any sense.

11:30 AM  
Blogger deeewana said...

yeah Jim
yourjoke suxs
heres mine michele

A man is having problems with his dick, which certainly had seen better times. He consults a doctor who, after a couple of tests, says, "Sorry, but you've overdone it the last 30 years. Your dick is burned out, you only have 30 erections left in your penis." The man walks home, deeply depressed. His wife is waiting for him at the front door and asks him what the doctor said concerning his problem. He tells her what the doc told him. She says, "Oh no, only 30 times! We shouldn't waste that, we should make a list!" He replies, "Yes, I already made a list on the way home. Sorry, your name isn't on it."

2:19 PM  
Blogger Hedwig Dasouza said...

mine

A man was on trial for selling drugs, and a neighbor was called as a witness. ,The defense attorney asked, "Did you ever get any cocaine or other drugs from the defendant?"

"No sir," answered the man. "Did you ever get any from his wife?"
"No sir." "Did you ever get any from his daughters?"
"Uh--excuse me sir," the witness said, "but we're still talking about drugs here, right?"

2:31 PM  
Blogger michele said...

Saby aka hedwig dasouza,now
that's funny.That is one horrible name.Third world people don't
know how to be funny,not much
to laugh about over there.For
the life of me i can't think
of not one indian comedian.
It must be a rarity,and you're
not helping.

2:45 PM  
Blogger Jim said...

hehehe

u r back on guard duty
i see

6:13 PM  
Blogger michele said...

You are an ass,a dumb ass at that.

6:33 PM  
Blogger saby said...

i just did on IMNUTSINCAPS
come see

6:33 PM  
Blogger michele said...

No wonder you're a piss head
with a name like hedwig,i'd be
mad too.

6:37 PM  
Blogger michele said...

I wouldn't visit your site if
you were the last blog on earth.
I rather visit old ladies
knitting blogs,or cat blogs,
or some porn blogs.

6:42 PM  
Blogger saby said...

its OK
yr loss

i just wanted to show u the pic

i wud have changed the pic
if it wasnt flattering enuff

7:12 PM  
Blogger saby said...

by the way

mine is a porn blog
better than MALE

7:17 PM  
Blogger michele said...

You portray to be women and
men, yea you've gone beyond
superfreak,you people are
mega freaks mega freaks yall!
The kind you don't take home to mother.

7:23 PM  
Blogger saby said...

shit
she has lost her cool
i better retire

take home to mother???
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

she shares wid mom?

7:30 PM  
Blogger michele said...

I bet your mother doesn't claim
you.After all you know your lot in life.DOOMED!

7:33 PM  
Blogger michele said...

Saby's been knocked out by the greatest! Float like a butterfly sting like a bee.

7:36 PM  
Blogger michele said...

you Alfred E Newman wanna be.
You might as well be yourself,
because everywhere you go there
you are.I know it's painful
being you but deal with it.

7:40 PM  
Blogger michele said...

Little birdies flying around
sabys head.Too bad they don't
have tylenol 3 in india. I
guess you have to meditate to take away the pain,omm ,omm ,omm

8:12 PM  
Blogger saby said...

nocked out but not beaten
, , hum laut aayenge, ,
(i'll be back)

12:31 AM  
Blogger PJ said...

Lol things are never the way they seem are they? I have been thinking of angels lately.

7:07 AM  
Blogger r.m. largent said...

I'm sure there's a really good short story in there...i can picture it in that Gothic sense. Not to mention that this is one of the funnier things i've read in a while.

9:49 AM  
Blogger michele said...

PJ-hope you feeling better,
thinking of angels is a good
thing.Keep the faith.

R.M.-I can see it being a
comedy,feel free to write
the screenplay.Don't forget
about me when you rake in
millions.

Saby-get in shape first for
our next bout.Your jokes
are lame and so are you.

11:38 AM  
Blogger saby said...

u r on
just post yr next post
and be prepared to hit the floor hard

3:39 PM  
Blogger RC said...

That's great!

Very very funny.

--RC of strangeculture.blogspot.com

10:39 AM  

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