ME AN ADVICE COLUMNIST?
I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT PEOPLE ARE
ALWAYS ASKING MY ADVICE,IT MUST
BE THE GEEK GLASSES I WEAR.

Q.MICHELE, I JUST FOUND OUT MY HUSBAND
IS SLEEPING WITH MY SISTER..WHAT SHOULD I DO?
A. KILL THEM BOTH

Q. MICHELE, MY MOTHER FAVORS MY YOUNGER
SISTER OVER ME,AND IT MAKES ME FEEL BAD,
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
A. KILL'EM

Q.MICHELE, MY BOSS IS BLACKMAILING ME INTO
HAVING SEX WITH HIM. I LOVE MY JOB, BUT THE
THOUGHT OF HIM BEING NAKED MAKES ME WANT
TO PUKE.WHAT SHOULD I DO?
A. KILL HIM.

Q.MICHELE, MY NEIGHBORS DOG KEEPS DIGGING
UP MY FLOWERS, WHAT SHOULD I DO?
A.KILL THAT FLEA BAG.

WARNING: MY ADVICE IS RATHER EXTREME,AND
IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.
IT MAY EVEN LAND YOU IN PRISON,BUT THERE'S
A BRIGHT SIDE.
FREE FOOD,FREE LOUNGING,AND TIME TO REFLECT
ON HOW YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME WHEN YOU GET OUT.
HEY! I LED YOU TO THE WATER, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO
DRINK IT.
WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS BLAME THE MESSENGER?

GUYS, WHILE YOU'RE IN THE PEN DON'T BEND OVER
AND PICK UP THE SOAP, OR SURELY YOU WILL BE PAID
A VISIT BY MR. JOHNSON...HE LOVES COMING THROUGH
THE BACK DOOR.

GIRLS,IF A GIRL ASKS YOU IF YOU LIKE YOUR CARPET
CLEANED,IT MEANS SHE INTO YOU. JUST DON'T HAVE AN STD
OR YOU WILL BE SHUNNED ,AND SO WILL YOUR RUG DOCTOR
GIRLFRIEND,WITH HER BLIMP SIZED LIPS.
THIS ADVICE STUFF IS A PIECE OF CAKE, I MISSED
MY TRUE CALLING...I COULD HAVE BEEN A DEAR ABBY!

THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT.