TALENT WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME?

MY FIRST PIANO LESSON TOOK PLACE AT
THE AGE OF SIX. A BLIND WOMAN WHO WAS
MEANER THAN A JUNKYARD DOG.
I LEARNED NOTHING.

LATER IN JR. HIGH I LEARNED THE BEGINNING
OF "I WANT YOU BACK" JACKSON FIVE, ON THE
PIANO , BUT I COULDN'T PLAY THE REST.

IN MY LATE TEENS I WROTE SOME LYRICS, AND
WAS SIGNED TO A CONTRACT.
IT WAS ON BILLBOARDS R&B CHARTS OUT OF
THE HOT 100 IT WENT ALL THE WAY TO #98.
I HEARD IT WAS HOT IN TEXAS,HEY I WROTE
THE B SIDE, THE A SIDE IS SUPPOSE TO BE THE
HIT.
THANKS SKY YOU NO TALENT BASTARD!

MY PRODUCER TOLD ME I SHOULD START
THINKING ABOUT WRITING MUSIC,
AND SO THE QUEST BEGAN.

FIRST I STARTED WITH GUITAR, TOOK LESSONS
FROM A GUY WHO HAD WRITTEN A BOOK.
I JUST COULDN'T GET IT.
I'M NO JIMI HENDRIX.

YEARS HAVE PASSED,AND I CONTINUE TO
HAVE HIGH HOPES,OF PLAYING A MUSICAL
INSTRUMENT.

IN THE LAST FEW YEARS, I'VE BOUGHT A
CLARINET, WHICH IS GATHERING DUST,
DAMN I CAN'T EVEN KEEP IT SHINY ANYMORE.
I'M NO BENNY GOODMAN.

PIANO KEYBOARD, I'VE FORGOT HOW TO PLAY
THE BEGINNING OF "I WANT YOU BACK"
I CAN'T EVEN PLAY "CHOP STICKS":(
I'M NO MOZART.

DRUMS, WAS NEXT, I LOOKED AT IT AS A WAY TO
RELIEVE STRESS BY BEATING THE HELL OUT
OF SOMETHING. THAT LASTED A WEEK,PLUS
I STILL HAD STRESS.
I'M NO SHEILA E.

GUITAR, JUST BOUGHT ONE AGAIN TODAY,
WHY DO I TORTURE MYSELF LIKE THIS?
GOT DAMNIT, WHO AM I FOOLING? DON'T
LET ME GET STARTED ON THAT DAMN TAMBORINE!

I HAVE ENOUGH INSTRUMENTS AROUND HERE
TO HAVE A JAM FEST '08.
AS I STARE AT THE GUITAR IT'S BRINGING
BACK MEMORIES, PLAYING IT USE TO HURT
MY FINGERS...I'M A DELICATE FLOWER.

I HAVE THE STRANGEST FEELING I WOULD
BE GOOD AT PLAYING THE TUBA, BUT I'M
NOT GOING DOWN THAT STREET!

UPDATE:
JUST POPPED A STRING BY WINDING IT
TOO TIGHT. I CAN'T DANCE, OR PLAY AN
INSTRUMENT... I BETTER FOCUS ON WHAT
I CAN DO...
I CAN PLAY A MEAN AIR GUITAR,
THAT'S RIGHT, BABY GIRL HAS SKILLS!

BREAKING NEWS:
IT'S THE NEXT DAY AND I HAVEN'T PICKED
UP THE GUITAR. HEY! I HAVE GOOD REASON,
I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO, LIKE PICKING
LINT OUT MY NAVEL.