OH NO! THE INSTRUMENTS ARE REBELLING.
I HEAR THEM TALKING AMONG THEMSELVES
AT NIGHT.

GUITAR-YOU'RE A LAZY LITTLE F%#K, YOU HAVEN'T
STROKED ME YET. YOU KNOW I NEED TO BE STROKED,
WHY CAN'T YOU STRUM ME? I'M NOT A LES PAUL
BUT I DESERVE RESPECT DAMNIT! DON'T YOU
REMEMBER PLAYING "ROCKET MAN" BY ELTON JOHN?

CLARINET- I AGREE GUITAR, I HAVEN'T HAD A
BLOW JOB IN MONTHS,WHERE'S THE LOVE?

DRUMS- WELL I LIKE IT ROUGH, I LIKE TO BE BEATEN,
S&M. SHE USE TO BEAT ME LIKE A RUN AWAY SLAVE,
IT HURT SO GOOD...NOW I JUST GET GLARES!

PIANO- I USE TO LOVE THE WAY SHE TICKLED
MY IVORYS. SHE USE TO RUN HER HANDS UP AND
DOWN MY KEYBOARD, I COULDN'T GET ENOUGH.
WITH HER EVERY TOUCH I THOUGHT I'D DIED
AND WENT TO HEAVEN.

IT'S OBVIOUS BY NOW, I HAVE A BUNCH OF
HORNY INSTRUMENTS ON MY HANDS.
CALM DOWN ALL OF YOU, OR YOU WILL END
UP IN THE PAWN SHOP OR A YARD SALE.
I MEAN IT, I WILL NOT BE DISRESPECTED
IN MY HOME.
GET IT, GOT IT,GOOD!
TAMBORINE... DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY?
I THOUGHT NOT, NOW GO AND GATHER DUST
AND LEAVE ME ALONE!