A LETTER TO MYSELF:
AS A TEENAGER YOU WERE AN IDIOT,
ARE YOU READY TO COME TO TERMS
WITH THAT?

WAS IT SMART- TO PLAY WITH RUBBING
ALCOHOL ON THE STOVE, AND ALMOST
BURN DOWN THE HOUSE.WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

WAS IT SMART-TO RIDE YOUR BIKE WITH YOUR
HANDS IN THE AIR...YOU COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED.
YOU GOT OFF EASY WITH A COUPLE OF BRUISES,
A PERMANENT SCAR,AND A BUSTED LIP.
ALWAYS TRYING TO BE COOL.

WAS IT SMART- TO THROW ROCKS AT A BEEHIVE?
THOSE BEES CHASED YOUR DUMBASS HOME,
THAT MUST HAVE BEEN A SIGHT WATCHING
3 KIDS RUNNING DOWN LA BREA BEING CHASED
BY BEES.

WAS IT SMART- FOR YOU AND 4 FRIENDS TO WALK
FROM FREMONT HIGH TO DOWNTOWN L.A.
WITHOUT ANY MONEY? WE SEPARATED AND
ME AND LINDA RAN INTO MY MOTHER GETTING
OFF FROM WORK.SHE PAYED OUR BUSFARE
HOME NOT ONLY DID WE DITCH SCHOOL,I GOT BUSTED,
AND WE WERE FACING WALKING 79 BLOCKS HOME AND
IT WAS GETTING DARK.

WAS IT SMART- WHEN YOUR MOTHER SENT YOU
DOWNTOWN FOR NEW SHOES , WHAT DID YOU DO?
YOU LET A CON ARTIST TALK YOU INTO BUYING
A LEATHER COAT. DO OR DIE YOU JUST HAD TO HAVE
A LEATHER COAT.
I BET YOU WOULD HAVE SOLD YOUR MOTHER
FOR A LEATHER COAT.
ME-PROBABLY, SHE DIDN'T DRINK OR SMOKE,
I PROBABLY COULD HAVE GOTTEN SOME OF
THAT GOOD ITALIAN LEATHER FOR HER,
POSSIBILITIES!


HE TOOK YOUR LITTLE DUMBASS TO A HOTEL , YOU
GAVE HIM YOUR MONEY, AND HE TOLD YOU TO
WAIT DOWNSTAIRS. WHILE HE DISAPPEARED
UP A SPIRAL STAIRCASE. AFTER WAITING FOR
OVER AND HOUR,YOU REALIZED YOU WERE SCREWED.
YOU WENT BACK HOME ON THE BUS, WITHOUT SHOES,
WITHOUT A LEATHER JACKET,CRYING LIKE A BABY.

IT WAS HARD FOR MOM TO TRUST ME AGAIN WITH
MONEY, BUT SHE DID AND AGAIN I LET HER DOWN
BY GETTING AN EXPENSIVE SPORTS CAR THAT,
TURNED OUT TO BE A BIG LEMON,
MOM GOTTA CHANCE TO SAY"I TOLD YOU SO"
AGAIN! TEEN YEARS, SCORE...MOM HUNDREDS
OF TIMES...ME ZERO.

GAWD I USE TO HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENED!
COULDN'T I BE RIGHT SOMETIMES?:(



I DIDN'T MAKE GOOD DESCISIONS UNTIL I HIT
MY 20's ,WHEN I DECIDED NOT TO EAT PORK,
AND TO ALWAYS BUY DOUBLE PLY TOILET
TISSUE. 1 PLY OUGHT TO BE AGAINST THE LAW!
OH THE HUMANITY!


NOTE TO SELF:
I'VE LEARNED A LOT,AND I AM SO OVER
LEATHER JACKETS...IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE.:(

I WOULDN'T DARE THROW ROCKS EVER AGAIN
AT A BEEHIVE...THAT WAS A VERY STRESSFUL
SITUATION. WHEN WE GOT HOME, A BEE WAS
IN MY HAIR... THAT LITTLE MUTHA WAS TRYING
TO KILL ME.
I'VE ALSO LEARNED NEVER TO HIT PEOPLE,
THEY MIGHT HIT YOU BACK,AND I BRUISE
EASY.

TALK ABOUT TEENAGE WASTELAND!