I USE TO BE A GREAT INVENTOR
BUT SNEAKY BASTARDS STOLE MY IDEAS.

I INVENTED WHAT I CALLED THE PHONE
MUFFLER. YOU PUT THE TALKING END
INSIDE THIS DEVICE I MADE OF CORK AND
RUBBER. SO THE OTHER PERSON COULDN'T
HEAR YOU ON THE OTHER END.
THEN GOT DAMNIT! THE HOLD BUTTON/MUTE
BUTTON CAME ALONG.

I INVENTED THE ROLL DOWN MAP FOR THE CAR,
IT ATTACHED TO THE DASHBOARD.
WHAT POPS UP THAT F**KEN GPS SYSTEM.

I INVENTED INSTANT COFFEE, AS A CHILD I BOILED
WATER PUT SOME GROUNDS IN A CHEESE CLOTH,
AND PORED HOT WATER OVER IT...WALLA! INSTANT COFFEE.
THEN FREEZE DRIED COFFEE CRYSTALS COMES ALONG,
WTF?

I STILL HAVE HIGH HOPES OF COMING UP WITH A GREAT IDEA.
I'M WORKING ON AN INVENTION THAT WOULD LET ME KNOW
WHEN AN ASSHOLE IS AROUND ME. OH SNAP! THAT'S CALLED
INSTINCT...WELL BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD.