OH HAPPY DAY!
I JUST RECEIVED MY OBAMA/BIDEN T-SHIRT
TODAY AFTER A MONTH OF WAITING.
I WISH IT WASN'T WHITE, I'VE NEVER BEEN
ABLE TO WEAR ANYTHING WHITE WITHOUT
GETTING A STAIN ON IT.

I'M GOING TO TRY MY BEST TO KEEP IT STAIN FREE,
OH OH, I'M HAVING BARBEQUE RIBS TODAY WITH
THE BEST SAUCE IN THE WORLD(BIG BOB GIBSONS)
CORN ON THE COBB DRIPPING IN BUTTER,A SALAD
WITH RUSSIAN RED DRESSING AND CHOCOLATE
ICE CREAM FOR DESSERT.
THAT'S A LOT OF BULLETS TO DODGE.:(

UPDATE:
DAMN IT ALL! WHY DID I THINK THINGS WOULD
BE DIFFERENT THIS TIME? I COULDN'T PULL IT OFF,
IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN THE 12 BEERS THAT I HAD
THAT WAS THE CAUSE OF SO MANY STAINS.
MY GAWD IT WAS LIKE I WAS A STAIN MAGNET.

I SWEAR OTHER PEOPLES STAINS JUMPED ON TO MY
WHITE TEE. I LIKE TO HUG JUST LIKE THE NEXT PERSON
I'M NOT A COLD HEARTED SNAKE, BUT WHEN SOMEONE
HAS A WHITE TEE ON BE CAREFUL.

I'VE COUNTED AT LEAST 5 STAINS THAT I CAN IDENTIFY.
BAR-B-QUE SAUCE
BUTTER
DIRT
CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM
LIPSTICK
LIPSTICK...WHAT! DID I GET MY FREAK ON,
DID I COME OUT THE CLOSET?
I DON'T REMEMBER...
DIRT...WHAT! WAS I PLAYING IN THE DIRT,
ACTING COUNTRY?
I DON'T REMEMBER...
I ONLY HAD 12 BEERS DAMN, DON'T TELL ME
I'VE REACHED THE AGE WHERE I CAN'T HANDLE
MY LIQUOR.:(

I DO REMEMBER HAVING A
CLOSE ENCOUNTER WITH A TREE.
OH GAWD, I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK OF THE
THINGS I MIGHT HAVE DONE.
DID I CLIMB IT?
DID I USE IT AS A TOILET?
WAS I TRYING TO CHOP IT DOWN BECAUSE IT WAS IN MY WAY?
WAS I HUGGING IT LIKE IT WAS MY MAIN SQEEZE?
I'LL NEVER KNOW UNLESS IT ENDS UP ON YOU TUBE...