CO-WORKERS
THE REASON I HATE WORK.

THOSE BACKSTABBING,SMILE IN YOUR FACE
BASTARDS! WHERE DO I BEGIN?
MY FIRST JOB WE ALL HAD LOCKERS,
AND SOMEONE STOLE MY LEATHER JACKET.
WE GAVE EACH OTHER GREAT CHRISTMAS
GIFTS...FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
MOM GAVE IT TO ME FOR CHRISTMAS, IT WAS
SPECIAL, SHE USUALLY GAVE ME 5 BUCKS
AND TOLD ME HOW LUCKY I WAS TO GET THAT.
I THOUGHT I WAS SO COOL WHEN I WORE
THAT JACKET, WE WERE ONE.
DON'T WORRY I STILL GREW UP TO BE COOL..

AND THE IN-BETWEENS WEREN'T PRETTY.
RECORD SHOP MANAGER, THE GUY COULDN'T PAY
ME AND TOLD ME I COULD HAVE ALL THE STOCK.
THEN CALLED THE POLICE AND SAID I STOLE THE STUFF.

MOVIE EXTRA,IT WAS FUN FOR A WHILE, UNTIL
SIDNEY POITIER CRUSHED MY SPIRIT.THEY HAD TO RESHOOT
BUT I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE WITH A BIG MOUTH.
YET HE DIRECTED HIS ANGER TOWARD ME. MAYBE
BECAUSE MY BROTHER IN LAW WAS ASSISTANT DIRECTOR
AND FIGURED I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER.
I COULD HAVE BEEN A STAR...THANKS SIDNEY
YOU POMPOUS BASTARD...

COURIER, I WENT A LOT OF PLACES AND MET A
LOT OF GREAT PEOPLE INCLUDING MUHAMMAND ALI,
COUNCILMEN,GOVERNORS,AND ONE TIME I SAW
MORGAN FAIRCHILD WITHOUT MAKE UP
AT A MOVIE STUDIO...IT WASN'T PRETTY.
GOOD LORD! IT MADE ME WONDER HOW
JACLYN SMITH LOOKED WITHOUT
MAKEUP...I HAD A GIRL CRUSH ON HER.

MY LAST STINT WAS AT AT&T IN 2000,
TALK ABOUT CUT THROATS.
THERE WAS MR. BRIEFCASE WHO HAD A
DESK NEXT TO MINE.
A COUPLE OF CO WORKERS SAID HE MADE
A NASTY COMMENT ABOUT ME.

THE WEEK BEFORE HE WAS SHOWING
EVERYONE HIS WEDDING PICTURES.
WHEN I FOUND OUT WHAT HE SAID ABOUT
ME IT WAS ON...
I TOLD PEOPLE HOW KIND I WAS LOOKING
AT HIS WEDDING PICTURES,WHEN I WAS
THINKING HIS WIFE LOOKS LIKE A GORILLA
IN A WEDDING DRESS.

HOPING IT WOULD GET BACK TO HIM, HE QUIT
OR GOT FIRED. HE CAME IN ONE DAY TO PICK UP
HIS LAST CHECK. I WAS TALKING TO A CUSTOMER
WHEN HE WALKED BY,I PUT THEM ON HOLD AND
LET LOOSE MY TRUCK DRIVER POTTY MOUTH. I COULD
HAVE SHOVED THAT BRIEFCASE UP HIS ASS.
I THINK I TOLD HIM HOW MANY WAYS HE COULD
F##K HIMSELF. ANYWAY HE APPOLOGIZED FOR
WHAT HE SAID,AND THAT WAS THE END.

I KIND OF FELT BAD SAYING HIS WIFE LOOKED
LIKE A GORILLA IN A WEDDING DRESS, IT'S
NOT LIKE I WAS LYING,WELL SHE DID...
I WANTED SO BAD TO TELL HIM TO TELL MAGILLA
I SAID HI,BUT LIKE I SAID HE APPOLOGIZED.

DUDE I FORGOT YOUR NAME,NOTHING'S WRONG
WITH HOT MONKEY LOVE,I BET YOUR KIDS
ARE GOOD AT CLIMBING. AND I HOPE YOU AND
MRS. MAGILLA ARE LIVING HAPPILY EVER AFTER...:)