SICK AS A DOG...

I HAD THE STOMACH FLU FOR 2NIGHTS & 1 DAY.
I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE END,I MUST HAVE PUKED
22 TIMES,AND THE PAIN,OH THE PAIN.BETWEEN THE
CRAMPING AND THE PUKING,I THOUGHT SURE
I WAS GOING TO DIE.

MY MOTHER WANTED TO CALL AN AMBULANCE
AT 2 IN THE MORNING, I YELL NO LET ME DIE
IN PEACE. THEN SHE TRIED TO GET ME TO GO TO
HER DOCTOR THE NEXT DAY,I BEGGED HER TO
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. BESIDES HER DOCTOR'S
NAME IS JOSE SANCHEZ...NO WAY JOSE!
WAS THAT A RACIST STATEMENT? OH WELL
I'M ONLY HUMAN.

THE PAIN WAS SO HORRIBLE, AFTER A WHILE,
I STARTED PRAYING FOR DEATH. I'M NOT SCARED
OF DEATH I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING
JESUS AND MARVIN GAYE. HEY! DON'T GIVE ME
THAT LOOK, HIS FATHER SHOT HIM.

I USUALLY WAKE UP SINGING IN THE MORNING BUT
THE ONLY SONG I SUNG THAT MORNING WAS
"TAKE ME LORD JESUS AND TAKE ME NOW"

I'M FEELING BETTER NOW,I JUST CAN'T EAT AND
HAVE TO DRINK A LOT OF LIQUIDS...NO ALCOHOL:(
I'LL BE THERE JUST NOT NOW.:)
I HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY, THAT I WILL
BE IN CHARGE WITH PETER AT THE PEARLY GATES.
WOW! DECIDING WHO GETS IN, CAN'T WAIT TO SAY
"JUST WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING BUTTHEAD?"