ROOM MATES FROM HELL,HELL,HELL...

USUAL SUSPECTS:
TRESA... A SCORPIO PSYCHO BITCH,
I USE TO ASK GOD WHY DID HE BRING
HER INTO MY LIFE.

BROTHER AL... A GUY THAT LEFT EVERY
MORNING WITH A BRIEFCASE, BUT NEVER
COULD COME UP WITH THE RENT.

DAVID...HE RODE A MOTORCYCLE, YEP!
YOU ALWAYS KNEW WHEN DAVID WAS HOME,
AND VARIOUS FAMILY MEMBERS.
IN L.A. I HAD A TWO BEDROOM CRIB WITH 2 BATHS
SO I DECIDED TO RENT OUT A ROOM.
I SHALL PROCEED TO DISSECT THESE NUTS.

TRESA...YOU WERE A PIECE OF WORK, YOU PUT
ALUMINUM ON YOUR WINDOWS. WTF?
YOU ACCUSED ME OF STEALING A SHOWER
CURTAIN, WHEN MY BATHROOMS HAD GLASS DOORS...WTF?
ACCUSATION AFTER ACCUSATION,AND THAT I
WAS GOING IN YOUR ROOM WHILE YOU WERE AT
WORK.
I ALMOST KICKED YOUR ASS ONE NIGHT,OVER THAT SHIT!

BUT I DECIDED TO GET BACK WITH THE PRANK OF
ALL PRANKS. I CUT OPEN ONE OF THOSE SWEEPSTAKES
ENVELOPES, AND TYPED MY OWN LETTER IT LOOKED
VERY PROFESSIONAL. THIS IS WHERE IT GETS GOOD!

SHE GOT HER MAIL OUT THE BOX,I SAW HER
COMING UP THE STAIRS AND SAT OUT IN THE
LIVING ROOM JUST WAITING.

AS USUAL SHE CAME IN WITH A SNEER AND
A SHIT ASS ATTITUDE, SHE WALKED STRAIGHT
TO HER ROOM.I SAT IN THE LIVING ROOM
SIPPING MY VODKA OR WAS I CHUGGING
BEER...I FORGET.

AFTER A FEW MINUTES I HEARD THIS SCREAM,
SHE COMES RUNNING OUT HER ROOM SHOUTING
AND SCREAMING,SHE HAD WON 25,000 DOLLARS.
JUMPING UP AND DOWN IN THE HALL,I ALMOST
FELT BAD FOR A SECOND,BUT QUICKLY GOT
OVER THAT.

OH SHE HAD BIG PLANS TALKING MUCHO SHIT,
UNTIL I HAD TO CRUSH HER DREAMS.
I HAVE A CONSCIENCE, BUT THIS WITCH
DESERVED IT.
YEARS LATER SHE EMAILED ME, SHE HAS
A DIFFERENT LAST NAME. I ASSUME SOME
CRAZY MAN MARRIED THAT FOOL.
IT MUST HAVE NOT LASTED, SHE EMAILED
ASKING DID I HAVE A ROOM TO RENT?

YOU PSYCHO FREAK OF NATURE, I RATHER RENT TO
CHARLES MANSON,JEFFREY DAHMER,SON OF SAM,
RICHARD RAMIREZ,BTK,EVEN SATAN!...ARE YOU
KIDDING? I RATHER ROOM WITH HITLER!
MY ROOMATES MADE SINGLE WHITE FEMALE
LOOK LIKE A LOVE STORY...:(
WAIT UNTIL YOU HEAR ABOUT BROTHER AL,
YOU'LL NEVER WANT A ROOM MATE...