THE ECONOMY:
I'M NOT TRYING TO SCARE ANYONE,BUT
TAKE YOUR MONEY OUT THE BANK AND
PUT IT UNDER YOUR MATTRESS...NO PUT IT IN THE
FREEZER...NO PUT IT IN A SOFA PILLOW... NO BURY IT
IN THE BACKYARD.

I SLEEP WELL AT NIGHT KNOWING MY JAR OF
QUARTERS ARE SAFE, I'LL SURVIVE FOR AT LEAST
A WEEK. ONE DAY AT A TIME BABY!:)

I CARE ABOUT PEOPLE, SO MUCH I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU
MY RECEIPE FOR SOUP TO GET YOU THROUGH THESE
HARD TIMES.

DEPRESSION SOUP:
3 PACKS OF KETCHUP,(5 is better if you can afford it)
1 package of mustard,( gives it that zing)
2 cups of water
Salt & Pepper
Hot Sauce optional
Serves 2
unless you're around a greedy bastard!

ANOTHER TIP:
IF YOU RUN OUT OF TOILET PAPER,GRAB THE
PHONE BOOK. IT'S BIO DEGRADABLE AND THE
PAGES CAN BE FLUSHED.
IT'S NOT CHARMIN...BUT IT'LL DO IN A PINCH.

SIDE EFFECTS:
IF YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO INK, DON'T RISK IT,
YOU'LL BE SCRATCHING DOWN THERE
UNTIL"THE TWELFTH OF NEVER"
AND THAT'S A LONG LONG TIME.

THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.