I USE TO BE WHITE!

YES I WAS A LIGHT SKINNED BLACK KID, THEY USE
TO CALL ME MELLOW YELLOW.
ONE DAY I CAME HOME FROM SCHOOL AND TOLD MY MOTHER
THAT MY TEACHER WAS WHITE LIKE US.

ALL I CAN REMEMBER IS MY MOTHER TREATING
ME, LIKE A DUMBASS FROM THAT DAY FORWARD.
I WAS AROUND 8 OR 9 MAYBE YOUNGER.

THIS BAD TEEN ROSA LIVED ACROSS THE STREET FROM US
AND SHE WAS SO BLACK SHE WAS BLUE.
ANYWAY I WAS A BOLD WHITE KID,SO I THOUGHT,
THAT CALLED HER BLACK, NOT THE N' WORD. SHE
TOOK OFF RUNNING AFTER ME LIKE I JUST KILLED
HER FAMILY. THANK GAWD BY THE TIME I CIRCLED
THE BLOCK I RAN INTO MOM WHO WAS ARRIVING
HOME FROM WORK.

SHE DOESN'T REALIZE TO THIS DAY
THAT SHE SAVED MY LIFE...ROSA WAS GETTING READY
TO GIVE ME A SERIOUS BEATDOWN.

I KNEW NOTHING OF THE N' WORD, UNTIL I GOT
OUT IN THE WORKING WORLD.
THANKS BOB,CHARLIE,BILL,DON,MYLA,HARRY,
BUD,RICHARD,JANET FOR KEEPING ME IN CHECK.
YOU NEVER FAILED TO REMIND ME THAT I WAS
A N####ER AND ACCORDING TO YOU SO WAS MUHAMMAD ALI,
OPRAH AND MARTIN LUTHER KING...I DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS IN
SUCH GREAT COMPANY.

I'VE GOTTEN A LITTLE DARKER I'M LIKE CARAMEL
COLORED NOW. I HAVE STOPPED USING THE TERMS
''GO BACK TO AFRICA", AND "THOSE PEOPLE"
AND STOPPED GIVING A BLACK FAMILY WHO
MOVES INTO THE NEIGHBORHOOD A BUCKET OF
FRIED CHICKEN AS A HOUSE WARMING GIFT.

IT'S OBVIOUS THAT MY MOTHER DROPPED ME ON MY
HEAD WHEN I WAS A BABY OR THREW ME AGAINST THE WALL.
I WAS A BREAST FED BABY AND SHE COMPLAINS TO THIS DAY
THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE IT UP(that explains a lot)
AND HOW I WOULD CRY.
SHE PROBABLY GOT SICK OF MY CRYING, AND THREW
ME AGAINST THE WALL. SUE ME I WAS A THIRSTY KID
AND NOW I'M A THIRSTY ADULT.

I SAW MY SISTER THROW ONE OF HER KIDS ACROSS THE
ROOM ,SO IT RUNS IN MY FAMILY.POOR YANCY HIS
HEAD HIT THE STEREO,THAT'S ALL I REMEMBER.
I PROBABLY RAN OUT TO PLAY,WHILE MY NEPHEW
WAS LAYING IN A POOL OF BLOOD.
OH YEA, I WAS WHITE DURING THOSE DAYS,
AND DIDN'T WANT TO BE CAUGHT UP IN NEGROS
PROBLEMS.

POSTING THIS JUST IN CASE I GET SENILE,
WHO WOULD WANT TO FORGET SUCH PRECIOUS
CHILDHOOD MEMORIES?

BREAKING NEWS:
MY MOTHER HAS TOLD ME FOR A LONG
TIME THAT I HAVE IRISH IN ME. I DIDN'T
WANT TO BELIEVE IT, THEY'RE NUTS!
(However it explains a lot)

THE FACT THAT I COULDN'T BE WEENED OFF
OF BREAST MILK IN A TIMELY FASHION, AND
NOW I HAVE IRISH BLOOD RUNNING THROUGH MY
VEINS. I NEED SOMEONE TO SPRINKLE SOME HOLY
WATER ON ME...AND E.T. THOUGHT HE HAD PROBLEMS,
SHOULD I CONTACT THE MAZAWIS OR THE McDOUGLES,
HOW IN THE F##k AM I GOING TO PHONE HOME?:(