EMAIL TO OPRAH...

HI OPRAH, I AM DIGGING YOUR READING GLASSES
YOU'RE WEARING LATELY. I LOST MY COOL SUNGLASSES
NOT TO LONG AGO, AND I WAS DEVASTATED. I WEAR READING
GLASSES BUT I LOVE SUNGLASSES,EVEN THOUGH I CAN'T
READ WITH MY SUNGLASSES. BECAUSE IT'S BETTER TO
LOOK COOL THAN TO READ.:)

I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU SEND ME THOSE GLASSES
YOU WEAR ON THE SHOW,THEY ARE WAY COOL...
I'LL WEAR THEM PROUDLY,AND TELL PEOPLE THAT
MY FRIEND OPRAH GAVE THEM TO ME.
I KNOW, I KNOW GAILE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND,
BUT YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY FRIENDS.:)

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND OTHERS, OH GAWD
I JUST QUOTED JERRY SPRINGER...DON'T HOLD THAT
AGAINST ME.
I KNOW YOU'RE VERY BUSY,BUT IT HAS BEEN 2 DAYS
SINCE I EMAILED YOU,I'M NOT THE MOST PATIENT
PERSON IN THE WORLD.

MAYBE WE CAN MAKE A TRADE...LOOKING AROUND MY
SARDINE CAN...I MEAN MY HOME,I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING
YOU WOULD WANT. WAIT A MINUTE...I HAVE A LIMITED
EDITION BOTTLE OF HENNESSY COGNAC HONORING
OBAMA BEING THE 44TH PRESIDENT.
I PLANNED ON KEEPING IT FOR AT LEAST10 YEARS TO
LET IT AGE,BUT THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING I COULD
OPEN THAT BAD BOY ANY MINUTE.

OH YEA, I HAVE A PAIR OF EARPLUGS OBAMA USED EVERY
TIME JOHN McCAIN OPENED UP HIS DUMBASS MOUTH.
DEAL OR NO DEAL?

I HATE TO BRING THIS UP BUT,
REMEMBER BACK IN 1989? YOU
WERE STAYING IN A ROOM DOWN
THE HALL FROM ME. I ACCIDENTALLY
WALKED INTO YOUR ROOM AND WAS
SHOCKED,DISGUSTED, AND KIND OF
TURNED ON.;)

LUCKILY I HAD MY CAMERA ON ME,
YOU FEELING ME? I'LL BE EXEPECTING
MY PACKAGE ANY DAY NOW...KAPEESH!

SORRY IT HAD TO COME TO THIS, BUT I
REALLY WANT THOSE GLASSES.

BY THE WAY...
DON'T FORGET TO EMAIL ME THE TRACKING NUMBER,
I LIKE TO KEEP TRACK OF MY PACKAGES.:)