NOW WHAT?

PREJUDICE CAN COME BACK AND BITE YOU
IN THE ASS. I LIVE IN MEXICO A.K.A. POMONA.
MEXICANS HATE BLACK PEOPLE AS MUCH AS
THE KKK REDNECKS. WHAT DO THEY HAVE IN COMMON?
BOTH ARE DUMB AS ROCKS.
IF YOU EVER SEE BILLY BOB, OR JUAN GARCIA ON JEOPARDY
LET ME KNOW, I WANT TO BELIEVE IN MIRACLES.

LITTLE MEXICAN KIDS THAT HAVE BEEN TAUGHT TO HATE
BLACK PEOPLE CAUSE THEY'RE BAD.
NOW THEY LOOK AT BLACK PEOPLE IN AWE, AND MAMA WAS
WRONG, THEY KNOW WE HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT,AND BLACK
IS WHERE IT'S AT.

YOU PEOPLE, LIKE THE REDNECKS ARE NOTHING BUT HATERS.
YOU'RE SHORT, YOU'RE STUPID AND THE ONLY THING
GOOD ABOUT YOU IS YOUR FOOD.

YOU'RE SO DUMB, YOU LISTEN TO THE MEXICAN MAFIA IN PRISON
TO TELL YOU TO KILL BLACK PEOPLE.

WHO IN THE f##K LISTENS TO PEOPLE WHO ARE IN PRISON.
Y'ALL SOME DUMB BUTT HEADS.
YOU'RE HARD WORKERS, BUT YOU'RE A DUMB GROUP OF PEOPLE
AND THE OLDER YOU GET THE DUMBMER YOU ARE.

YOU PEOPLE LIKE TO RIDE OUR COAT TAILS IN HISTORY,
BUT THERE WILL NEVER BE A MEXICAN PRESIDENT.
DO YOU THINK BLACK PEOPLE WOULD VOTE FOR YOU OR WHITE
PEOPLE? NOT IN A MOTHER F##KEN MILLION YEARS.

BLACKS AND WHITES PUT OBAMA INTO OFFICE, SI SENIOR!

SORRY PEEPS BUT SOMEONE HAS TO DROP THE 411 ON THOSE
PEOPLE...PLUS THEY'RE SNEAKY AS F##k.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK ON HOW IT REALLY IS.
ODDS OF OTHER MINORITIES BECOMING PRESIDENT.
1. INDIANS FROM INDIA ...10 TRILLION TO 1
2. MEXICANS...10 TRILLION TO 1
3.KOREANS...10 TRILLION TO 1
4.DUMB ASS HILLBILLY...10 TRILLION TO 1
5. A BLACK WOMAN NAME LA,QUEITA MERCEDES SMITH JONES
6 TRILLION TO 1
THAT'S RIGHT SHE HAS A BETTER CHANCE THAN ALL OF THE ABOVE.

WHILE SHE'S BUSY TRACKING DOWN WHO THE BABY DADDY IS,
I'LL TAKE CHARGE...THEN WE'LL BE IN GOOD HANDS, LIKE
ALLSTATE BABY!;)

A SIGN OF LOVE,SHOWERS TOGETHER?

MAYBE IT'S ME BUT I DON'T CONSIDER THAT
A TURN ON. I DON'T THINK I WOULD ENJOY
THE FILTH RUNNING OFF YOUR SEXY BODY.

I'VE DONE IT BEFORE, BUT I WAS SO STONED
I DON'T REMEMBER THE EXPERIENCE. WELL
BITS AND PARTS.

I LOOK AT A BATH OR SHOWER BEING A PERSONAL
THING, ME AND MY TOYS.I HAVE A VERY SPECIAL
RUBBER DUCK,AND HE KNOWS JUST WHAT TO DO.
DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD?

AND DON'T LET ME GET STARTED ON GOLDEN SHOWERS,
THAT'S JUST NASTY...TRY PISSING ON ME, AND YOU'RE
IN DEEP TROUBLE. YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A CHRIS BROWN
BEAT DOWN...ONLY WORSE.
LIKE MY GRANDPA WILLY USE TO TELL ME,
"IT'S BETTER TO BE PISSED OFF, THAN TO BE PISSED ON"

MAYBE I HAVE A HANG UP ABOUT IT, BECAUSE AT 12
YEARS OLD I SAW MY MOM AND STEPDAD IN THE SHOWER.
HEY! I WAS LOOKING FOR MY MOMMY!

I THINK IT SCARED ME FOR LIFE, THERE WAS MY NAKED
SKINNY STEPDAD,AND MY MOTHERS BOOBS WERE HANGING OUT...
I HADN'T SEEN THEM SINCE I WAS A BREAST FED BABY.
AND NOW MY DADDY WAS DEALING WITH THEM, I COULDN'T
TAKE IT. OH GAWD! THE FLASHBACKS,I HAVE TO GO LAY DOWN NOW.

LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE...

GAWD I HATE HABITUAL LIARS,
THEY LIE FOR NO REASON. I'M
NOT SAYING I NEVER LIE, BUT IT'S
USUALLY TO GET MY ASS OUT OF TROUBLE.

SOME PEOPLE LIE JUST FOR THE HELL
OF IT. I HAVE 3 HABITUAL LIARS IN MY
LIFE,AND I DON'T BELIEVE ANYTHING
THEY SAY ANYMORE.APPARENTLY THEIR
PARENTS NEVER TOLD THEM THE STORY
OF THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF.

IF THEY WERE TO TELL ME, THAT IT'S
A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE,THE SUN IS
SHINING AND THE SKY IS A PRETTY BLUE,
I WOULD GO OUTSIDE AND CHECK FOR MYSELF.
THERE HAS TO BE A SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL
FOR HABITUAL LIARS, AFTER ALL THE DEVIL IS A LIAR...

YOU JUST DON'T KNOW HOW STUPID YOU LOOK,
STOP IT ALREADY!

RELATING TO MY PREVIOUS POST.

SOMEONE ONCE TOLD ME I WAS SELFISH
BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT KIDS.

PLEASE! I AM HAPPY AS HELL I DIDN'T HAVE KIDS(no worries)
EVEN THOUGH I FEEL I WOULD HAVE BEEN A GREAT
MOTHER. MY KID WOULD KNOW E=MC2 AT 3 AND
WOULD BE ABLE TO PLAY MOZART ON THE PIANO AT 5.
BUT TRUTH BE TOLD, I'M A BIG KID,AND
I'M A HAND FULL.

BESIDES JESUS DIDN'T HAVE KIDS AND HE TURNED OUT OKAY...:)

HARD TIMES...

AND A DUMB BITCH THINKS HAVING 14
KIDS IS A BLESSING...
YOUR EXCUSE FOR HAVING THESE KIDS
ARE... "I WANTED SOMEONE TO LOVE ME"
YOU SELFISH LITTLE F**k THERE'S NO GUARANTEE
THAT YOUR KIDS ARE GOING TO GROW UP AND LOVE
YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE THEIR MOTHER. HELL,
EVEN THE BABY DADDY DON'T GIVE A DAMN FOOL!...

IN THESE HARD ECONOMIC TIMES, YOU HAVE TO BE CRAZY.
YOUR KIDS ARE GOING TO BE DEPRIVED OF BASIC THINGS
JUST BECAUSE OF YOUR SELFISHNESS.
LIKE I TOLD MY NIECE ONE TIME, NOBODY IS
GOING TO LOVE YOUR KIDS THE WAY YOU DO...

YOU LIVE IN A DELUSIONAL WORLD WHERE YOU
THINK SOMEBODY GIVES A F##K,
IT'S 2009 PARTY OVER OOPS, IT'S OUT OF TIME.
PRINCE GAVE YOU A WARNING, HE WAS JUST 10 YEARS
OFF...

THE RUMOURS ARE FLYING...

RIHANNA IS BEATEN UP BECAUSE,
SHE GAVE CHRIS BROWN INCURABLE HERPES.
JAY-Z WHO DISCOVERED RIHANNA IS SAID TO HAVE
GIVEN IT TO HER. THEN THERE'S TI WHO IS GETTING
READY TO GO TO PRISON WORKED WITH RIHANNA,
AND IS SAID TO HAVE HERPES.

SINCE JAY-Z IS MARRIED TO BEYONCE, PEOPLE ARE
WONDERING IF SHE HAS HERPES NOW.:(
PEOPLE! YOU NEVER HEARD OF
"WHAT A TANGLED WEB WE WEAVE AT FIRST
WE PRACTICE TO DECEIVE."

NOW THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD KNOWS YOU HAVE HERPES.

YOUR SWAG IS GOING TO CHILL, AND YOU'LL HAVE
TROUBLE FINDING A NASTY PERSON WHO WANTS
TO SLEEP WITH YOU,BECAUSE THEY WOULD HAVE TO BE NASTY.
(and not in a good way like Janet)

I'M TRYING TO THINK UP A GREAT PICK -UP LINE FOR Y'ALL.
THINKING...THINKING...STILL THINKING
JUST BE YOURSELF AND SAY...
WELL,YOU KNOW I HAVE HERPES,TELL ME YOU'RE A
NASTY GIRL OR BOY.

HERE'S ANOTHER ONE "HEY BABY,WANNA JOIN THE 4-H CLUB?

SICK AS A DOG...

I HAD THE STOMACH FLU FOR 2NIGHTS & 1 DAY.
I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE END,I MUST HAVE PUKED
22 TIMES,AND THE PAIN,OH THE PAIN.BETWEEN THE
CRAMPING AND THE PUKING,I THOUGHT SURE
I WAS GOING TO DIE.

MY MOTHER WANTED TO CALL AN AMBULANCE
AT 2 IN THE MORNING, I YELL NO LET ME DIE
IN PEACE. THEN SHE TRIED TO GET ME TO GO TO
HER DOCTOR THE NEXT DAY,I BEGGED HER TO
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. BESIDES HER DOCTOR'S
NAME IS JOSE SANCHEZ...NO WAY JOSE!
WAS THAT A RACIST STATEMENT? OH WELL
I'M ONLY HUMAN.

THE PAIN WAS SO HORRIBLE, AFTER A WHILE,
I STARTED PRAYING FOR DEATH. I'M NOT SCARED
OF DEATH I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING
JESUS AND MARVIN GAYE. HEY! DON'T GIVE ME
THAT LOOK, HIS FATHER SHOT HIM.

I USUALLY WAKE UP SINGING IN THE MORNING BUT
THE ONLY SONG I SUNG THAT MORNING WAS
"TAKE ME LORD JESUS AND TAKE ME NOW"

I'M FEELING BETTER NOW,I JUST CAN'T EAT AND
HAVE TO DRINK A LOT OF LIQUIDS...NO ALCOHOL:(
I'LL BE THERE JUST NOT NOW.:)
I HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY, THAT I WILL
BE IN CHARGE WITH PETER AT THE PEARLY GATES.
WOW! DECIDING WHO GETS IN, CAN'T WAIT TO SAY
"JUST WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING BUTTHEAD?"

ME,OBAMA,& THE LOTTERY...

I HAD A DREAM THE OTHER NIGHT THAT
OBAMA STOPPED BY. HE MADE HIMSELF
COMFORTABLE RECLINING ON THE SOFA.

I HAVE A FEW OF HIS AUTOGRAPHS AND
I ASKED HIM WERE THEY REAL. BECAUSE
A LOT OF FAKES ARE BEING SOLD ON EBAY.
HE STARTED LAUGHING LOOKING AT THEM, AND
SAID MAYBE 1 WAS REAL OUT THE BUNCH.
I DIDN'T FALL APART BECAUSE I KNEW I WAS
GOING TO GET A REAL ONE.

HE WENT BACK AND LAYED DOWN ON THE SOFA,
AND ASKED ME IF I'D GO TO THE STORE HE
WANTED A CAN OF OLD ENGLISH 800.
BOY THAT STUFF IS NOT BEER I THINK IT'S
PART WHISKEY. I REMEMBER AS A TEEN TRYING
IT, NEXT THING YOU KNOW I WAS IN THE FRONT
YARD RUNNING AROUND DOING FLIPS.I WAS
PUNISHED AND HAD TO STAY IN MY ROOM ALL DAY,
WITH 4 OTHER OFFENDERS.

BUT A DEVASTATING SECRET CAME OUT IN THE
FAMILY THAT DAY.
DRUNK TEENS DON'T HAVE THE
EQUIPMENT TO REALIZE,THAT
"LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS."

OKAY BACK TO THE DREAM
ANYWAY HE GAVE ME 1.90 ON THE DOT.
I NEVER MADE IT TO THE STORE BECAUSE
I COULDN'T FIND MY SHOES.
AREN'T DREAMS A TRIP? MY DREAMS ARE
MORE EXCITING THAN MY LIFE.

MAYBE SOMEDAY I'LL SHARE WITH YOU
THE DREAM WHERE I'M SHOPPING WITH
MICHAEL JACKSON.

WHEN I WOKE UP I REMEMBERED THE NUMBERS
800 &190, I NEVER REMEMBER NUMBERS IN DREAMS.

FIRST THING I THINK OF IS THE DAILY THREE ,ONE
OF OUR MANY LOTTERY GAMES.
I RAN OUT TO PLAY THEM EXCITED THAT THIS
WAS EASY MONEY BABY! YES I WALK THROUGH
LIFE WEARING ROSE COLORED GLASSES.

F##k,F##K,F##k, I'LL BE DAMN IF 900 DIDN'T
COME IN. NOW I'M STUCK PLAYING THAT SET
OF NUMBERS UNTIL THEY DO COME IN.

BECAUSE THE MINUTE I DON'T PLAY THOSE
NUMBERS THEY'LL COME IN, AND I'LL GO INTO A STATE
OF DEPRESSION UNTIL I FINALLY DECIDE TO JUMP
OFF A BRIDGE.

AND ON TOP OF THAT I HAVE TO WONDER IF MY
OBAMA AUTOGRAPHS ARE REAL.
WHY IS LIFE SO COMPLICATED?
MAYBE IT'S TRUE WHAT THIS OLD MAN,
ONCE TOLD ME IN MY TEENS.
"LIFE'S A BITCH AND THEN YOU DIE":(

OH BOY! OH BOY! OH BOY!

MY OBAMA HENNESSY COGNAC CAME TODAY,
A LIMITED EDITION I HAVE #165318 OUT OF 180,000.
I HOPE TO KEEP IT FOR YEARS ,LET IT
AGE.

I'M KIND OF FEELING LIKE TASTING IT, AND
I AM GOING THROUGH A BROKEN HEART STAGE.
STAGE 1. YOU WANT TO KILL THEM.
STAGE 2. YOU WANT TO KILL THEIR WHOLE FAMILY.
STAGE 3. YOU WANT TO KILL THEIR FRIENDS TOO
OR IS IT JUST ME?
BUT I DIGRESS.
I HAPPEN TO BE DRINKING JAGERMEISTER
AT THIS MOMENT,TEMPTATION IS A BITCH!

IF I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND THIS BOTTLE
IS EMPTY, I'M GOING TO A.A. SO FAST THAT IT WILL
MAKE MY HEAD SPIN. SO WHAT IF I MISS
THE DOCTORS,ALL MY CHILDREN,PEOPLE'S COURT
AND MAURY WHO'S THE BABY DADDY,
I'M WORTH SAVING.:)

UPDATE:
I DIDN'T DRINK IT, I'M GOING TO MAKE IT AFTER ALL!
THROWING HAT IN THE AIR...BLESS MARY TYLER MOORE.

THE SUPER BOWL...

I DON'T UNDERSTAND FOOTBALL,
I'M ONLY WATCHING IT FOR THE
COMMERCIALS. PLUS I'M WAITING
TO SEE THE BOSS AT HALFTIME.
I'VE BEEN TO 4 CONCERTS OF SPRINGSTEEN,
BLACK & WHITE TAKING A TOKE OF THE SMOKE
AND PASSING IT AROUND.
AH...THE GOOD OLD DAYS.

I SEE ONE OF THE STEELERS HAS LONG HAIR
THAT HANGS OUT OF HIS HELMET.
IF I WAS PLAYING AGAINST HIM, I WOULD
PULL HIS HAIR UNTIL HE DROPPED THE BALL.
DAMN! I COULD HAVE BEEN AN NFL COACH.:)